Today Jim played one of Sarah McLachlan’s songs called “Angel” in lab. The melody was so beautiful that we just listened to it quietly. Somehow, I felt a little sorrowful and bitter in the end. After the song ceased, we kept in silence for a few seconds.

Then I asked, “It’s supposed to comfort me. How come I feel so sad?”
“Because it’s inconsolable comfort,” Jim answered.

Inconsolable
- not able to be comforted or consoled

Yes, some grief just can’t be alleviated…

Sarah McLachlan, Angel

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

quixotic 12:46 AM | | (0) | (0)

一直覺得自己是個很幸運的小孩

出國唸書當然有辛苦的地方，可是幸運的我碰到了幾個有趣的朋友，苦悶的留學生活能有朋友一起吐吐痰挖挖苦是很重要的。出國後碰到了好幾隻貼心鬼，而老大是最新的一隻。

其實跟老大只有一"面"之緣，算投緣吧，之後一直有保持閒扯淡，老大常常跟我分享一些新知跟好東西﹝網誌上有兩篇就是從他那來的﹞，我常常都覺得自己這個無知無趣鬼無好禮回報 >_<。

上禮拜老大去 Orlando 參加會議，出發前一天留了言問我要不要明信片，看到留言時真的是感動呢，老媽子說交朋友要看小地方，老大，真是個貼心鬼，你這朋友我交囉~﹝偏偏她自己女兒神經大條，很沒細節...﹞
今天收到了明信片，真開心

希望我們的生活都能像明信片中的煙火，啪啪啪！

Get a postcard from LD from Disneyland, Orlando.

I always think that I am a lucky kid. Although the life of studying abroad is tough sometimes, I am lucky to meet some interesting friends here. They are such sweethearts and they cheer my boring life up. And LD is one of them.

Last week LD went to Orlando to attend a conference. Before his departure, he left a message to ask whether I want a postcard or not. Surly I do! Thank you so much, LD.

Hope our life will be like the firework on the postcard: sparkling, sparkling, sparkling!

quixotic 11:53 PM | | (2) | (0)

一直對放音樂的空間感到很頭痛
Free 的 Yahoo! GeoCities 放三首歌就沒空間了
之前看網路上介紹申請了 Yahoo! JAPAN GeoCities
空間是比較大，可是都是日文我搞不大懂怎麼作檔案管理
用連結的方式可是有時候連結又不大順利
今天晃晃晃到一個 vox 網誌
想起之前也有申請一個帳號
稍微玩了一下
發現它對分享音樂、影片極為人性化
缺點是加入會員才能留言...

決定了！就把那當作我碎碎念的第二個家！
音樂往那連去聽，不過有話想講的話還是在我這老家喔 ^_^
GO TO MY

quixotic 01:15 AM | | (0) | (0)

If it's 5 years ago, I don't think I would fall into this kind of music which people call post-rock.

Post-rock is characterized by non-traditional use of rock instruments and high musical density. It more focus on instrumental sound and sonic texture. Usually, the musicians don’t care about vocals much, or I should say they consider vocal as a kind of instrument. Therefore, the music usually lack lyrics and is built by repetition of musical motifs with subtle changes. By that way, audience can develop the stories and images by themselves. At this age, I start to enjoy my own vision and be stubborn, and maybe that’s why I would appreciate post-rock music.

Like most rock music, there is always something angry residing in the notation. However, for post-rokers, the expression is gloomier and obscurer. It’s amazing how the images are vivid and alive when listening to the music. There might be a rotating expansive grass... There might be a kid screaming silently… There might be a man walking in the dark…

Beyond anger and obscurity, I found some tenderness in 8mm Sky.

8mm Sky is a Taiwan band formed in 2004. They have been the warm-up band for Explosions in the Sky and Mum. I first noticed them because of a song called “the sound before X’mas”. The composition is simple, but I feel something pure in that song. I just kept listening to it. Last year, 8mm Sky released their first album “Finders Keepers”. Instead of guitar explosion, there is more delicate emotion. I can see the light passing by rapidly… I can smell the moisture in the air… I am up and down at the same time.

8mm Sky, The Sound of X'mas

8 mm Sky official website
8 mm sky MYSPACE where you can listen to their new EP: I saw you a little bit

There are some 8mm Sky videos on YouTube although the quality is not good.

OH, in Chinese, there is a word used to describe post-rock
緩 飆
mm, that's so right.

quixotic 08:19 PM | | (6) | (0)

三日不讀書面目可憎

這裡說的書不是工具書、不是科學期刊、不是厚重的上課講義，一定要是些無關成就的、空泛的、無病呻吟的、沒有答案的，卻跟呼吸很有關係的廢書美書。如果以上成立的話，我的臉真是見不得人了，為了拯救我那不想化妝的臉，跟 J 借了一本《笑忘書》﹝Kniha Smíchu a Zapomnění；The Book of Laughter and Forgetting﹞ 來看。

好久沒看書，看的好開心，雖然基本上是一本低調憂傷的小說。
這是我看的第一本米蘭‧昆德拉﹝Milan Kundera﹞的作品，很是豐富，他寫了人生的好多面向，我不確定自己看懂多少。懂的地方會驚覺他怎麼這麼細心，這麼細心地觀察人瞭解人，以及人所玩的各種把戲，裡面有嘲弄也有憐憫；不懂的地方也會帶給我一種想像，或許美好或許無奈的想像，而不是一個問號或呆掉的臉。這絕對是一本在不同年紀念會有不同感觸的好書。有很多主題，但我印象最深刻的是政治和性，感覺這兩個主題在每個故事都有出現，即使有時候他只是在寫鳥類的遷移或音樂的結構，我都會有政治或性的聯想﹝也許只是我個人的過度聯想，但這樣的聯想過程也很有趣﹞，更趣味的是他把政治跟性作了聯結，想想不是嗎，政治的群像在某些方面跟集體高潮或性冷感極其相仿。

雖說是小說，作者本人卻會在書中某節跳出解釋或反駁他創造的角色，這樣的設計多了些辯說的味道，也讓同一件事有了不同的角度觀看，或許你會說，這樣不是破壞小說的連接和讀者的幻想嗎，可他的故事本身就好蒙太奇，雖有個時間主軸，但間插著歷史、夢境、新聞、幻想，所以換個空間也就不會顯得很突兀了。米兄的文字很是迷人啊，好多段我都覺得好像在看奇幻舞台劇，文字進入的同時，詭譎的畫面就在腦海中運轉了起來。

不想笑不想忘，所以做些摘要吧！

第一部 失去的信件

米瑞克說了這番話：人類對抗權力的鬥爭，就是記憶與遺忘的鬥爭。

故事中沒有明確提到當年米瑞克做為一個有智慧又激進擁有偉大夢想的年輕人是否有擁抱共產黨，但在發現當初的偉大行動開始擁有自己的生命開始偏離夢想時，他確實對這個有生命的行動發出怒吼，因而成為政府關切的對方。為了保護他的夥伴，他應該要把相關文件藏到安全的地方，但現在接近命運終點的他滿腦子只想著要把當年寫給芝丹娜的情書通通收回，他想抹去那段不想記得的記憶，他不想承認當年那個懦弱的年輕人因為沒有信心追求漂亮的女人而跟醜陋的芝丹娜上床，甚至愛她，但她這麼醜，有個醜情婦實在不符合他對命運終極美感的要求，所以他要試著抹掉她，就像政府試著抹掉他一樣。

文中提到在歷史愈來愈快的洪流中，新事件覆蓋舊事件，最新事件覆蓋新事件，最後每個人都會將每件事都徹底遺忘。人類對自我記憶的操作其實跟政府對群體記憶的操作很類似，write、erase、re-write、re-erase，最後記得的究竟是什麼？但幸與不幸的是，有些事是抹不掉的，有些記憶是擦不掉的，它會一直待在那裡，就像克雷蒙提斯的氈帽一樣一直留在哥特瓦的頭上一樣。

這段裡他這麼描寫共產黨：

長久以來，人類總是嚮往著牧歌，嚮往著這片夜鶯歌聲繚繞的田園，嚮往這個和諧的國度，﹝…略…﹞。在那裡，人人都是巴哈賦格曲裡反覆澎湃歌詠著同一崇高主題的一顆音符，不想當音符的，就杵在那兒像個沒用的小黑點似的，毫無意義，只消輕輕拈來，用指甲一掐，小黑點就會像跳蚤一樣，被掐的粉身碎骨。

第二部 媽媽

第三部 天使們

第四部 Litost

第五部 天使們

第六部 邊界

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

其實是一年多前的舊文了，一直想說要把摘要做完再貼上，結果......

還是先貼吧，以後再找機會補上。

quixotic 10:07 PM | | (0) | (0)